Still Off Topic

18 07 2010

I thought these needed to be published elsewhere besides Twitter. If you are actually a fan of Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight Saga… you’d do better not to read this.

... and then there was glitter.

The tweets are in order from first post to last post.

  1. #Note2self… find the Doctor(preferably after the Time War) & convince him that Stephanie Meyer is in league w/ the Daleks… or Cybermen.
  2. #Note2self… alternatively find the nearest slayer of vampires & convince her that Stephanie Meyer is in league w/ the current Big Bad…
  3. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif… u plot how many ways 2 torture Stephanie Meyer w/ ur own Mary Sue satire fiction b4 killing her… slowly
  4. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif You post tweets on how you would like to kill Stephanie Meyer…
  5. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif you think self-described wuss @neilhimself would make a better vampire even though he’s no longer nocturnal.
  6. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif you think Angel would feel compelled to off Edward merely because he *sparkles*… that’s just wrong.
  7. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif u feel u wouldn’t mind the Twilight Saga’s existence… if u weren’t forced 2 endure all the hype & fangirls
  8. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif u understand the concept that any man who sneaks into a girl’s room 2 watch her sleep is a stalker.
  9. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif Twilight Saga displays repel you like Holy water and Crucifixes do ‘real’ vampires.
  10. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif u saw the Twilight movie against your will… and came out finally understanding how glitter is made.
  11. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif u realize u’ve made a nice stream of #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif s… and laughed… maniacally.
  12. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif u feel it is necessary to profess ur hatred of Stephenie Meyer & Twilight through as many media as possible.
  13. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif the longest unbroken tweet stream u’ve had consists almost entirely of#YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif s.
  14. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif#YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif is trending through ur posts alone.
  15. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif u torrent copies of the Twilight Saga movies just to put them on dvd to burn ritualistically.
  16. #YouMayDespiseTheTwilightSagaif u refuse 2 buy anything of the TwilightSaga even 4 ritualistic burning cause it would profit Stephanie Meyer
  17. I’m gonna have 2 stop myself b4 I hurt myself from laughing maniacally. U know… that sounds more pathetic n words than I thought it would.
  18. #YouMightBeALoserif u laugh maniacally while tweeting.
  19. #YouMightBeALoserif u write hashtags late at night that describe urself… they may be self-deprecating.
  20. #YouMightBeALoserif u just noticed u passed 1,337 tweets and thought cool I’ve hit 1337.
  21. #YouMightBeALoserif u understand why the last one makes u a loser.
  22. #YouMightBeALoserif you are a loser.
  23. #YouMightBeALoserif u thought of tautology or recursion upon read that last tweet.
  24. #YouMightBeALoserif u googled recursion and laughed because google asks if you meant recursion.
  25. #YouMightBeALoserif u listen to interviews of @neilhimself because u like to hear him speak… u find it soothing.
  26. #YouMightBeALoserif u tweet about famous people on twitter obsessively and wonder why u can’t stop because u r certain it’s creepy.
  27. #YouMightBeALoserif u tweet about famous people on twitter obsessively and /don’t/ think it’s creepy.
  28. #YouMightBeALoserif u think trolling Stephanie Meyer will have any effect on her success. It’s 2 late. What is the world coming 2?*facepalm*
  29. #YouMightBeALoserif u think anything u say or do on twitter will matter to any1… except perhaps ur future employer….
  30. #YouMightBeALoserif the same applies for blogging.
  31. #YouMightBeALoserif while listening to 1 of those several interviews of @neilhimself u could relate when he talked about being nocturnal.
  32. #YouMightBeALoserif u r sad @neilhimself is no longer nocturnal.
  33. #YouMightBeALoserif u /don’t/ realize ur latest string of tweets seem 2 point 2 an obsession w/ @neilhimself & might come across as creepy.
  34. #YouMightBeALoserif u can replace @neilhimself w/ any # of celebrity tweeters such as @StephenFry & still reach the same conclusion.
  35. #YouMightBeALoserif upon realizing u may have an obsession w/ @neilhimself u automatically switch to a new obsession… such as @StephenFry.
  36. Twitter needs some sort of filter… to prevent me tweeting late at night… I tend to sound more creepy than I actually am… I think.
  37. Will someone stop me tweeting b4 I receive restraining orders from both @neilhimself & @StephenFry without ever having met either of them?
  38. Or b4 I tweet something that is misspelled on such a level to not even be considered as shortening of words to fit in a single tweet?
  39. Or perhaps b4 I tweet something that absolutely no sense makes?
  40. #youmightbealoserif u think it is perfectly reasonable for a vampire to sparkle.
  41. #youmightbealoserif u know “sparklepires” would not be so indestructible as claimed if they were in fact made of diamond.
  42. In fact, if “sparklepires” WERE made of diamond Buffy wouldn’t even need a stake 2 turn 1 n2 a pile of glitter… she’d just need a good hit
  43. Well-placed, of course.
  44. Even if the “sparklepires” aren’t made of diamond, Hardness isn’t a measure of indestructibility. Elasticity would b better but not enough.
  45. Just realized how pedantic my ranting sounds… I don’t care, because they’re good enough arguments 4 y no 1 should read the Twilight Saga.

Some explanations now. I don’t remember why I started this stream, but it happened, and I want people to actually read it…. I say that because I started publishing this stream at 2.07 am EST… and it ended at 4.43 am EST. My internet connection was slowed by my brother’s torrenting… which meant that I could not post as fast as I wanted to. Also, if someone had googled recursion, they probably would not have laughed at Google’s recursion joke.

Almost all of the  hashtag tweets are self-deprecating: some do not actually apply to me. If you are a fan of Stephanie Meyer and her Twilight Saga and have made it this far, I do not apologize. I will, however, say that if you have any other interests that I do, I would still like for you to read this blog. I promise not to post any more spiteful posts about Stephanie Meyer… or if I do, they shall be few and far between with a warning close to the top.

Note: I do have tendencies towards obsession, but I am aware of this and actively try to temper my actions. This is harder to do at 3 and 4 in the morning.




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